Friday, October 19, 2012

Full Obama/Romney Roast Speeches from Al Smith Dinner

 [Because it's time we all laughed about this election. - c]

GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney poked fun at himself and at President Barack Obama, telling a white tie and gown crowd at the annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner in New York City on Thursday that, "it's nice to finally relax and wear what Anne and I wear around the house." Here are his five best zingers:

5. "I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening. He'll laugh at anything."

4. "We're down to the final months of the president's term ... You have to wonder what [Obama is] thinking: So little time, so much to redistribute."

3. Romney quipped that St. Peter's skeptics told him, "If you’ve got a church, you didn’t build that."

2. He spelled out how the media will cover the dinner: "Obama embraced by Catholics, Romney dines with rich people."

1. "In keeping with the 'Sesame Street' theme, the president's remarks are brought to you tonight by the letter O and the number 16 trillion."

After Mitt Romney's address, Obama had his turn to speak. In keeping with the theme of the traditional event, where candidates make fun of themselves and their opponent ahead of the election, Obama delivered the jokes, but his were more often directed at himself — and especially at his performance in the first debate — than at his opponent. Here's a rundown of his best jokes from the event:

5. "Everyone please take your seats. Otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them."
4. Obama admitted he had more energy in the second debate: "I felt really well rested after the nice, long nap I had in the first debate."
3. "It seems like this race has dragged on forever, but Paul Ryan assured me that we've only been running for two hours and 50-something minutes.”
2. About the first debate being on his wedding anniversary: "I learned that there are worse things that can happen to you on your anniversary than forgetting to buy a gift."
1. After his foreign trip in 2008 Obama said, "I was attacked for being a celebrity because I was so popular overseas. I'm impressed with how Governor Romney avoided that problem."


Anonymous said...

America's been Raped