Punny

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Ever since the mayor's ban on flammable liquids, fewer arsonists have benzene around town.

I thought I was investing in sea-going vessels when I bought those Chinese junk bonds.

The cost of a galvanized hull is enough to zinc a ship.

When I bought some fruit trees the nursery owner gave me some insects to help with pollination. They were free bees.

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.

The prospector didn't think his career would pan out.

The lumber company downsized. They got rid of the deadwood.

New years resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.

He dined with her at the local beanery and was immediately inflatuated.

Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

I've never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.