Texas Punch

h/t: Urban Survival

Near my home in Texas, there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a rancher walking down a country road, noticed a man using his right hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher shouted, "Sehr angenehm! Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: "Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it."

The man shouted back, "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The rancher replied, "Use both hands. You'll get more."