He staggered home very late, after another evening with his drinking buddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife.
He tip toed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, he sprung up, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt was cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid on each cut.
He then hid the empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way into bed.
In the morning, he woke up with searing pain as his wife was staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"
He said, "Why say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror." ;)
Happy Saturday all. - c