Click to enlarge image.
Upper Deck has produced a "Presidential Predictor" trading card of Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin inside its latest baseball release. (PRNewsFoto/Upper Deck)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The "Bailout Bill" Story To-Date
McCain ad: Rein - President Clinton Blames Democratic Congress
President Clinton was right. Need proof?
Congress Bails on Rescue - New York Post
Click image to enlarge.
Karl Rove Reacts to the No Vote on the Bailout - Names Names!
John McCain Calls on Congress to Leave Partisanship Aside and Fix the Problem
BREAKING: John McCain’s Remarks on the Economic Crisis
Des Moines, IA
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
We are in the greatest financial crisis of our lifetimes. Congressional inaction has put every American and the entire economy at the gravest risk. Yesterday the country and the world looked to Washington for leadership, and Congress once again came up empty-handed.
I am disappointed at the lack of resolve and bipartisan good will among members of both parties to fix this problem. Bipartisanship is a tough thing; never more so when you’re trying to take necessary but publicly unpopular action. But inaction is not an option.
Businesses all over the country cannot borrow to finance their own operations and pay their bills. If we do nothing, many may fail.
Sonic Corporation, a drive-in restaurant chain based in Oklahoma, learned on Thursday that one of its lenders, GE Capital, had stopped extending new loans to the chain's franchisees. That will block plans to rebuild restaurants, add equipment and open new locations. When small businesses like Sonic franchisees can't borrow, contractors don't get the remodeling work, equipment-makers lose sales, and restaurants go out of business. It hurts the entire community.
When financing dries up, students can’t get loans.
In Wisconsin, more than 100 Milwaukee Area Technical College students couldn’t access private loans to fund their education. Fortunately the school was able to come up with emergency loans, but this temporary arrangement cannot continue. Markets need to work so that people can get financial help and students can be educated.
Again, inaction is not an option.
In light of the House’s failure to act, this morning, I spoke to the President about two things that the administration has not done, but should do following the inaction of Congress:
First, the Treasury has already used its Exchange Stabilization Fund to back money market accounts. I encourage it to use it this fund as creatively as possible to provide backstop for accounts across our financial system to maintain confidence on the part of savers and investors.
And second, the recent housing bill gave the government nearly $1 trillion in authority to purchase mortgages. Housing and mortgages are at the root of this crisis. I encourage Treasury to take action to shore up mortgage values.
The Administration can take these actions with the stroke of the pen to help alleviate the crisis gripping our economy. I urge them to do so.
Also, the FDIC should quickly be granted the authority to increase the deposit insurance cap from $100,000 to $250,000 so that families do not have to worry about their money. We cannot allow a crisis in our financial system to become a crisis in confidence.
I call on everyone in Washington to come together in a bipartisan way to address this crisis. I know that many of the solutions to this problem may be unpopular, but the dire consequences of inaction will be far more damaging to the economic security of American families and the fault will be all ours.
I will continue to do whatever I can to aid in a constructive answer to the challenge before us.
How To Play the Piano Like Chico Marx
Chico Marx - "Piano Scene" from Go West - YouTube link
Comedian Wayne Federman presents a short piano lesson demonstrating the three fundamentals of playing in the style of Chico Marx.
How To Play Piano Chico Marx Style - YouTube link
Chico Marx - "All I Do is Dream of You" Scene - Night at the Opera - YouTube link
Your turn. Click the keyboard to activate a Flash Virtual Piano.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Gordon Gekko was Wrong
Sold Out (1929), cartoon by Rollin Kirby depicting the repercussions of the Stock Market Crash of 1929.
"Greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA." -- Gordon Gekko
The 1929 Stock Market Crash
Prelude
“Fishing is a constant reminder of humility and of human frailty -- for all men are equal before fishes.” - Herbert Hoover
~ ~ ~
Thanks for reading. Gone fishing. - c
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Money Tales from the Great Depression
Click to enlarge images.
Money Tales from the Great Depression
Amid the din of impending-recession rumors, I've noticed friends voicing anxiety about their jobs, finances and futures, and after hearing and reading an increasing number of reports on economic anxieties, I've also started to worry about how dire it might get.
I wanted to collect some firsthand accounts of how bad the American economy actually has gotten in the past, at least in living memory. So I sought out some perspective from those who had grown up during the Great Depression.
I suspect that, like me, many middle class Americans have a hard time imagining giving up their iPods, let alone selling apples on the street to make ends meet, and it seems worthwhile to keep in mind the sorts of real, large-scale hardship that can befall any country at any time.
And, although it's hard to find an expert today that would predict an economic calamity akin to the 1930s slump, I wanted to put a check on my own (and media pundits') occasionally alarmist tendencies by contrasting the recent forecasts about the current downturn with stories from a real historical enormity. In other words, it could be much, much worse.
Finally, I simply wanted to add a few more Great Depression voices to the record. As one of my interviewees, Naomi Zipkin, put it, "There aren't a lot of us here anymore — and soon there aren't going to be that many people around to talk to."
Following are excerpts from my conversations with five individuals who were born in the 1910s or '20s and grew up during the prolonged economic downturn that followed the U.S. stock market crash of 1929. They talked about their memories of the hardships that they — or their parents, friends or relatives — endured, and about how their experiences during the Depression may have affected their views of money and finances.
Alice (not her real name) was born in Pomona in 1923 and grew up in the San Fernando Valley. She now lives in San Clemente (Orange County).
"I remember when they came and took our car away — that made a big impression," she says. "And I remember my mother worrying about what to feed us.
"My father was a real estate broker. Then the housing market crashed — sort of like today but 10 times worse. Nobody was buying homes. What little money my parents had was gone when the banks closed.
"My father starting raising some vegetables in our yard. I remember we didn't have new clothes; you grew and your clothes didn't fit anymore. I never went to a dentist; I had crooked teeth.
"My grandmother lost her only son in World War I, so she was a Gold Star Mother and got $50 a month. So there were times when she'd send part of that to my mother to help us out.
"The Depression made a saver of me; that's been the most important thing, ever since. When I was young, my father once tried to explain to me how a bank could close. Can you imagine trying to explain that to a kid? For a long time I didn't have a great trust of banks.
"My father had a friend named Oscar who had quite a bit of money. After the bank closures, he didn't trust banks, and he buried his money in fruit jars in his back yard. When the Depression was over, Oscar dug up all the jars and bought (some real estate) with the money.
"It still scares me to death when people run up big credit bills. That's not something I could do. I'm very careful. My house has to be clear, so that no one can take it away.
Lucille Gold was born in New York City in 1920. She now lives in Oceanside (San Diego County).
"My mother and father were immigrants," she says. "They came here (from Russia) before World War I as teenagers. My father got to be very rich in the 1920s: He opened a chemical company of sorts. I never knew, but I suspect it might have had something to do with Prohibition. Our family was rich — we had a nanny and lived in the upper Bronx in a very elegant home. My father also invested in a lot of things like radio and film. And then he lost everything in the stock market crash.
"I remember listening in to lots of my parents' conversations after my sister and I were supposed to be in bed. My mother would be crying, wondering what we would do ... She found a job as a bookkeeper for another family, and my father applied for New York City welfare. I remember it was $25 a week for a family of four.
"We had an uncle who had come to California and invested in real estate, and who was not hurt by the Depression. He let my family live rent-free in an apartment that he owned in the Bronx. That was one of the ways we survived.
"I've had a fantastic life — not rich, but full of wonderful things. What the Depression really did was make me very political and very radical. I can't understand the political apathy I see in this world today. I resent living in a country that prides itself on being so rich and yet people still have to worry about getting old, getting sick, losing a job."
Naomi Zipkin is Lucille Gold's younger sister. She was born in 1926 and currently lives in Walnut Creek.
"My father was a real romantic, and one of his great pleasures was reminding our mother of their anniversary in late December with a gift of a dozen long-stemmed red roses," she says. "Roses at that time in New York were very costly, and finances were a real problem for my family. (During the Depression) he would bring home these roses and my mother would, as they say now, 'go ballistic.'
"We were reliant on welfare for period of our lives. I can vividly remember my parents eating differently from my sister and I. In Jewish custom, my mother fed us well — she would buy good nutritious food for us; I don't remember what (my parents) ate instead.
"I still have some of the Depression mentality, and I'm 81. I still find that decisions I'll make are kind of based on the sense of you only have yourself that you can count on for security. Life isn't always predictable.
"I also probably came away with a sense of the importance of having savings, and not wanting to be reliant upon my children, for example — having them actualize themselves in the way they need to, and not feeling responsible for my husband and me.
"When I graduated from college, I knew that I'd have to go out and go to work; one didn't think of anything else. Grad school was only for the wealthy. I would have loved to go to graduate school. I look at my grandchildren, and my grandson just graduated from college, and he's not sure what he wants to do with his life. He'd like to spend some time thinking about what he'd like to do next — I think it's wonderful, I'm not judging it — but in no way would that have fit into my own expectation for myself."
Nathan Zipkin is Naomi's husband. He was born in Los Angeles in 1921.
"We never had money for clothes," he remembers. "In those days people darned their socks; it was not like today where you throw them away. In the summer time we didn't wear shoes.
"There was always food in our house, but dinners quite often were just potato soup or just rice and gravy. My mother sacrificed a lot for us.
"FDR declared a bank holiday after he first became president. When it was over, the bank that my parents had some savings in failed — it was gone. They lost all their savings — about $1,000. Even as a young kid, I could understand this was a serious thing.
"Then my parents started having trouble paying their mortgage. Congress had passed a law setting up the HOLC (the Home Owners' Loan Corporation). You had to apply to them, and I remember my mother going down every day to the office of the HOLC to try to get them to give us relief — to lower the payments on the mortgage — similar to what they're talking about today, but for different reasons. One day my mother came home and said, 'They approved our application.' She broke down and said, 'We're not going to lose our house.' That was 1934; I'm going on 87. I was a young kid then, but I can still remember it clearly.
"I know that in my high school years, which were 1936 to 1939, I was thinking, 'I have to get a job out of high school, what am I going to do? There was no emphasis on going to college; my father had been an orphan and he labored. He was never out of work during the Depression. He owned a little laundry store and he worked long, long, long hours. He was gone in the morning while it was still dark, he came home after work, exhausted, had dinner and fell into bed. And then he'd get up and do it again, morning after morning. Shortly after I graduated from high school in June, 1939, I got a job in a laundry for $12 a week; it was a 50-hour week that we worked.
"One son of mine is doing very well now — he's a consultant in a computer business. I keep talking to him and saying, 'Whatever you're saving, be sure you're saving a large enough chunk, so if you're out of work for a couple years you'll be able to live. I don't know if relaying my situation to my kids had an impact. From time to time I've told them what it was like.
"What I don't want to do is ever be in a position where I'd have to go to (my children) for help. I can't emphasize how important Social Security is in our lives, and in my mother and father's lives. I keep thinking what's going to happen with my kids; I think this country is going to be faced with a major financial upset. There will be some hard times."
John Manola was born in 1917 in East Orange, N.J. He now lives in Philadelphia.
"My father worked as a mason," he says, "and when the Depression came, he lost his job, along with many, many others. I remember hearing my folks talk about not having any income at all. He got unemployment of some kind and then eventually got a job with the WPA.
"My uncle had a very good job on Wall Street; he lost everything. He almost committed suicide; he became very emotionally disturbed.
"I remember that my mother would cry a lot when she couldn't pay the bills. (Collectors) would come to our house and she'd have to talk to them. I remember hearing all this.
"The Depression made me realize how I had to work for everything. I started to have little jobs. My mother's brother had a chicken farm and he asked my mother if I would want to sell some eggs. I would take the eggs out and sell them.
"The experience of growing up during the Depression has definitely permeated my life. One thing it made me do is save. You always have to have something to fall back on. And I've always been careful with credit cards.
"I think when I hear that word 'recession' now, I really feel it more than maybe some people that didn't go through (the Great Depression). When I started reading about the latest recession news, I called my broker — I have a few things in stocks and so forth — and I asked him, 'Am I to be afraid about this?' The fear is there. But I trust that something will adjust.
"I'm not fatalistic; I'm more optimistic than pessimistic, but I still have sort of a feeling of how quickly things can disappear. And I also know that you really don't have to have too much to get along. You can get along very well with very little. You don't have to keep trying to be a millionaire. If I won $1 million, I wouldn't know what to do with it."
Barack Obama's Bracelet: He Just Doesn't Get It
White House photo of the day from the White House Photo Blog. Photo: Brooks Kraft / Corbis for TIME. Click to enlarge image.
Amongst the things that Barack Obama
carries for good luck
are a memorial bracelet for Sgt. Ryan Jopek, who died in Iraq, a gambler’s lucky chit, a tiny monkey god and a tiny Madonna and child.
Barack just doesn't get it.
Obama Checks Soldier's Name on Bracelet - YouTube link
"... from Sgt.... uh... uh..."
Paul Newman (1925-2008)
Paul Newman Tribute - YouTube link
Legendary actor Paul Newman dies at age 83 - story.
h/t: Jeff, dremango.
Friday, September 26, 2008
McCain Wins Debate!
But Concedes,
"I don't even have a seal yet."
"There was one man who was presidential tonight, that man was John McCain. There was another who was political, that was Barack Obama.
John McCain won this debate and controlled the dialogue throughout, whether it was the economy, taxes, spending, Iraq or Iran.
There was a leadership gap, a judgment gap, and a boldness gap on display tonight, a fact Barack Obama acknowledged when he said John McCain was right at least five times.
Tonight's debate showed John McCain in command of the issues and presenting a clear agenda for America’s future."
--Jill Hazelbaker, McCain-Palin 2008 Communications Director
McCain Is Right - YouTube link
Senator John McCain:
Tonight, Senator Obama and I participated in the first debate of the general election. It was a spirited debate and I believe the difference between our visions for America were made very clear.
In a few hours, I will return to Washington to resume negotiations with the Administration and Congressional leaders from both parties to forge a bipartisan solution to our economic crisis. I am optimistic we will come to a final agreement soon. All voices must be represented in the final agreement, especially those of taxpayers and homeowners.
We cannot be interested in who would get credit for finding a solution and who would be blamed if an agreement cannot be reached. We must put our country first to solve this economic crisis. Because in the end, that's what leaders do in times of crisis.
Our next president and Congress will face challenging times that require selfless leadership. They must find solutions to issues like the economy, national security, and energy independence. I'm ready to work with Governor Palin and our Congressional allies to address the nation's most pressing challenges. Make no mistake, we are ready to lead and the Obama-Biden Democrats are not.
~ ~ ~
Obama Debates Himself on Iraq
The Obama Iraq Documentary: Whatever the Politics Demand - YouTube link
Hillary Clinton: "I know Sen. McCain has a lifetime of experience that he will bring to the White House. And, Sen. Obama has a speech he gave in 2002."
The speech Obama gave in 2002 [or what he says is left of it.]
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
McCain: Priceless
Sen. John McCain is flanked by two supporters during a McCain/Palin rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. - Click image to enlarge.
Rally Supplies?... $21 Million
Campaign Events?... $40 Million
Choosing the right running mate?...
PRICELESS
Gorgeous and Invisible
red blood cells
Plato insisted that the most beautiful things were invisible — that perfect forms are too perfect to see.
Well, Plato would have loved the Wellcome Image competition, which limits itself to photographs of subjects that can’t be seen by the naked eye.
See more at the Welcome Image Awards 2008 Gallery.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Twas the Night Iran Went Nuclear
Twas the night Iran went nuclear, when all through land
Not a word was made mention; they were mute as the sand.
The scientists displayed enriched uranium with care.
To inspect it, their leader soon would be there.
The children of Israel were snug in their beds,
While visions of sufganiyah danced in their heads.
They dreamt of latkes and kugel and brisket well-seasoned
And hadn't a care; Hanukkah was the reason.
Back in Iran, there arose such a clatter,
Mahmoud was ecstatic; he was mad as a hatter.
"Israel won't exist exist; their land will be hexed,
Then America, watch out, for you will be next!"
"Now Bushehr! now, Natanz! now, Karaj and Arak!
We have nuclear weapons and we will attack!
The cities of Satan shall crumble and fall!
And, Allah willing, they'll be nothing at all!"
To the world he said naught, but went straight to his work,
Ordering warheads filled, he went truly bizerk.
Atop his weapons, he grinned and whooped as he posed,
Then giving a nod, to the launchers they rose!
Secured in his bunker, to his team gave a whistle,
And away warheads flew on Shehab-3 missiles.
He triumphantly exclaimed, as they climbed out of sight,
"Merry Christmas infidels, and to all a good-night!"
Monday, September 22, 2008
America's First Spy
Hale Receiving Instructions from Washington - Johnston, Henry P. "Captain Nathan Hale." Harper's New Monthly Magazine. Volume LXI. June To November, 1880.
Capt. Hale, In the Words of an Enemy
"[Maj. Robert Rogers, the daring New England frontiersman and guerrilla commander] detected several American officers, that were sent to Long Island as spies, especially Captain Hale, who was improved in disguise, to find whether the Long Island inhabitants were friends to America or not.
Colonel Rogers having for some days, observed Captain Hale, and suspected that he was an enemy in disguise; and to convince himself, Rogers thought of trying the same method, he quickly altered his own habit, with which he Made Capt Hale a visit at his quarters, where the Colonel fell into some discourse concerning the war, intimating the trouble of his mind, in his being detained on an island, where the inhabitants sided with the Britains against the American Colonies, intimating withal, that he himself was upon the business of spying out the inclination of the people and motion of the British troops.
This intrigue, not being suspected by the Capt, made him believe that he had found a good friend, and one that could be trusted with the secrecy of the business he was engaged in; and after the Colonel's drinking a health to the Congress: informs Rogers of the business and intent.
The Colonel, finding out the truth of the matter, invited Captain Hale to dine with him the next day at his quarters, unto which he agreed. The time being come, Capt Hale repaired to the place agreed on, where he met his pretended friend, with three or four men of the same stamp, and after being refreshed, began the same conversation as hath been already mentioned.
But in the height of their conversation, a company of soldiers surrounded the house, and by orders from the commander, seized Capt Hale in an instant.
But denying his name, and the business he came upon, he was ordered to New York. But before he was carried far, several persons knew him and called him by name; upon this he was hanged as a spy, some say, without being brought before a court martial."
Excerpt from Consider Tiffany's manuscript history of the American Revolution. [pictured here] The page on the left (verso) contains Tiffany's account of the capture of Nathan Hale by Maj. Robert Rogers.
Tiffany's account of the capture of Nathan Hale fits the facts as we know them so well that one is tempted to accept it as being substantially true. Tiffany's story reflects badly on Hale's judgment but not on his moral virtue. His ineptitude as a spy does not diminish his patriotism; on the contrary, it gave him the opportunity, however hateful, to display it in its most magnificent dimensions.
The "martyr-spy" of the American Revolution and the patron saint of the American intelligence establishment; Hale's statue stands today just off the main lobby of CIA headquarters in McLean, Va.
As a 21-year-old captain in the Continental Army whose spotless moral character was universally admired, Hale courageously volunteered in September 1776 for the dangerous mission of reconnoitering British army positions in the New York City area; he was captured and hanged on Manhattan Island on Sept. 22, 1776.
Ardent patriot writers of the 19th century depicted Hale's death in theological tones, describing how the young hero, alone amidst a sea of hostility, established a moral superiority over his tormentors and died triumphantly, uttering the imperishable sentiment:
"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Old Faithful Geyser Webcam
Old Faithful Geyser as seen from Observation Point. Photo: DeskTopScenes.
Old Faithful WebCam - Still Image - With 30 Second Updates
Old Faithful WebCam - Live Streaming Video - Includes Naration
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Moose Shootin' Mama
Moose Shootin’ Mama, by Pat Garrett, is the latest campaign diddy to hit the Internet airwaves.
Asked by the McCain/Palin campaign if he was busy for the next two months, Garrett replied, "I'll clear my schedule."
You can download a copy of Moose Shootin’ Mama here.
Moose Shootin’ Mama Lyrics:
Well she’s a moose shootin’ mama
And she’ll help keep our country free
She’s a moose shootin’ mama
She’ll make a great VP
When she looks you in the eye
You know that girl don’t lie
She’s a moose shootin’ mama
Yes, Sarah is the girl for me
She’ll help the prez keep our taxes down
And clean up Washington
Get them pork-barrel boys on the run
Man, this is gonna be fun
And it’s drill, baby, drill
Cause we’re paying way too much
Maybe what this country needs is a woman’s touch
Pumas: The New LOL Cats
Puma, also cougar or mountain lion, is a carnivore of North and South America with thick fur that ranges from reddish-brown in tropical forms to bluish-gray in northern forms. It is lighter on the sides, and the muzzle, chin, throat, breast, and insides of the legs are whitish. The puma is found from British Columbia to Patagonia. Its body can be up to 1.95 m (up to 6.4 ft) long, exclusive of its long tail. The head is relatively small, with a black spot above each eye. The female bears two to four young in a litter; the young have dark brown spots on the back, and the tail is ringed. Pumas hunt elk, deer, and smaller mammals.
~ ~ ~
Shelly Mandell, pres. of the L.A. chapter of NOW, endorses Sarah Palin. [video]
Have a great P.U.M.A photo? Submit the link in a comment and I'll add their photo here.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Nothing New
On the biggest financial issue of the day, Barack Obama would not say if he supported or opposed the government-backed rescue of insurance giant AIG.
It's nothing new.
Obama voted "present" nearly 130 times as a state senator.
The answers may seem obvious to you but, not to him.
~ ~ ~
The Washington Post on John McCain's Record
"In the aftermath of the Enron collapse and other accounting scandals, he was a leader, with Sen. Carl M. Levin (D-Mich.), in pushing to require that companies treat stock options granted to employees as expenses on their balance sheets.
... Mr. McCain was an early voice calling for the resignation of Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Harvey Pitt, charging that he 'seems to prefer industry self-policing to necessary lawmaking. Government's demands for corporate accountability are only credible if government executives are held accountable as well.'
In 2006, he pushed for stronger regulation of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- while Mr. Obama was notably silent."
Presidential Prediction
Who's going to win the race for the White House?
Let's have some fun. -- Let's ask Tarot.com! (Religious folks, please bear with me, I promise, this really will be fun.)
In case you can't read my question, I asked (trying to be as specific as possible):
"Will Barack Obama win the 2008 U.S. presidential race?"
Actual screenshot of question and answer from Tarot.com.
What does the answer to my question mean?
At #0, the Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he needs to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasizing and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.
A woman is tied and blindfolded within a cage of swords. This is the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" card. The Querent is in a situation where they're afraid to move. If they move, they'll get cut. However, the ropes that bind them, the blindfold over their eyes, are their own fears, keeping them still, immobile. And so the longer they stay, the more they constrain and entrap themselves. Ever been in a situation where you're afraid to say anything, so afraid that you second guess yourself, end up saying nothing, tying yourself in knots? But speaking up is going to get you cut to ribbons? That's this card. The Querent must have the strength to endure the cuts, else they'll stay trapped. They must move, for the longer they let the situation continue, the worse it will get.
Ah, the dreaded three of swords. Three swords pierce a heart. Against the background of a storm, it bleeds.
You were warned that the peace established in the two of swords couldn't last. What sharp words or cutting ideas have created here, not surprisingly, is pain and heartbreak. This card often relates to love-triangles; but remember this is an air sign, so what the Querent believes to be true was likely due to something they heard wrongly or were falsely told, a wrong idea they got into their heads. It does not lessen the fact that hurtful words are going to be exchanged.
There is, however, an up side to this card, however bleak. Prior to now, the words and thoughts - possibly poisonous words and thoughts - have been bottled up. They now come out into the open, the cutting truth. I don't like you, or, I didn't say that, or, I'm sorry, but it's your best friend I love (ouch!). So, well, now the Querent knows; no more waiting, obsessing, wondering, worrying. Either blood or poison can drip out, and the Querent can get on with their life. They now know how things stand and can act on that, instead of on false beliefs, gossip and misconceptions.
Sorry, Obama. It seems a presidential win for you just isn't in the cards...
no matter who you know.
Barack Obama and Andrew Morelock, VP, Tarot.com.
"Andrew - Keep up the good work. - Barack"
Yes, thanks Andrew! ;) - c
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
h/t: Marcus
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure (right from Day One!) that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of road?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need more black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that this chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No bird gave me any insider information about crossing.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you may become gay, also. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why a chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it had experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads together.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will integrate with those that lay eggs. Henhouse Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable than previous versions.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road pass beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Which way did he go?
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